tennessee's a brother to my sister carolina

traffic in milwaukee is hardly ever ridiculous. there just aren't enough people. you'd think it was, from the way the locals complain, but the reality is we don't hold a candle to any of the major urbanites who spend hours going three miles an hour while watching the hole in the ozone inch wider and wider open.

anyway, they regulate the on-ramps with traffic lights, during rush hour, and there's only ever a "carpool" lane on those ramps, around here, not in actual traffic. and the only time i ever encounter the metered lights is on the drive to the babysitter in the morning, and each and every day i have this moment of existential angst over whether or not it's ethical of me to get in said carpool lane, when the second person in the car is but a toddler. i mean, is using my son to get thirty seconds ahead in traffic, and to cut in front of that jackass who cut me off a half mile back, morally right?

whatever, clearly i need more to think about in the mornings.

bad dreams last night, back in that hospital room long ago and far away, counting breaths to beeps until there weren't any.

happier thoughts. the summer of '95, scamming our way into shows and free drinks, laying on the roof of danny's brother's car and plotting escape by jumping star to star. we pooled our money one weekend and had enough for gas to make it down to the gulf coast and back. picking cotton from the side of the road. barefoot, drinking coke out of glass bottles and listening to the waves crash. how warm they were, rolling over our feet. the water stretched out to forever and it felt like that summer did, too.

how much more detailed the escape plan was, without the light pollution of the city to muck it all up.

hard to believe that was thirteen years ago, almost, soon it'll be half a lifetime away but i suppose that's only fitting since those memories are already tinged with the rose-colored filter of nostalgia.

anyway. fast forward to present tense, and i suppose i'm still daydreaming, but maybe that's something you never really grow out of. i was in d.c. this week, but not for long enough to miss it, just the people, the way the light hits the capitol as the sun is setting, the rumble of the metro beneath your feet. okay, maybe i had time to miss it a little.